OK, I’ll Bite…Tell Me What Happened

By: Rob Harris

Occasionally, I have an opportunity to inform you about misfortune befalling wildlife at the hands of golfers. Today’s post brings you such news from upstate New York’s Fox Valley Club, an ironic name indeed, given the most recent animal story posted here. But I digress…

Imagine you find yourself in a tournament foursome with 69 year old Bob X, a club member. You are in the middle of the fairway assessing your upcoming approach shot, when you notice that Bob is over by the pond with what appears to be a sand wedge raised high. Since Bob is farthest from the hole, you wait for him to hit. He swings powerfully, once, twice. You come closer, just in time to see Bob lift by the tail the 22 pound snapping turtle he’s been pummeling, and swing the hapless creature against the side of the golf cart until dead.

You respond as follows (pick one):

  1. You ignore what happened, feeling honored to be observing a secret club ritual.
  2. You assess Bob with a two stroke penalty for grounding his club in a hazard.
  3. When you see Bob loading the turtle meat into his trunk following the round, you call the cops.

If you guessed (3), you’re a winner. Fast forward…. The police arrived. The story is related. They are befuddled. With what, if anything, can they charge Bob? After all, the New York legislature has ordained a hunting season on snapping turtles that runs from July 15 to September 30. Unfortunately for Bob, however, he had no hunting license. And, while state law permits turtles to be killed with firearm or bow , a golf club is not a permitted weapon. So, confronted with an airtight case, Bob pleaded guilty to both charges and paid a fine. The turtle meat was taken from his freezer and was suspended from the club for thirty days.

Commenting on the event, a spokesperson for the Department of Environmental Conservation noted that the turtle’s death was “unusual and unfortunate” and “not something we see commonly.” I’ll bet.

Except for a bit of poetic license—we don’t know the specific play-by-play, or who ratted out Bob or why—this is the story as reported in the Buffalo News, and as related in this video from WIVB news.

 

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